Merry Christmas

Why is Ambulance White?

• Ambulance is used to carry ill or hurt people to the hospitals.
• “AMBULANCE” on ambulance is always written as a mirror image so that people driving in front of this ambulance can easily read it in their mirrors so that they can give side to the ambulance.
• To give side means to either go to the left side of the road if you are driving in the left-hand-traffic country or to go to the right side of the road if you are driving in the right-hand-traffic country.
• Many countries have right hand driving system & many other left countries have left hand driving system.
• Officially, in India we have to drive on the left. But we usually drive on what is left.
• Because of this, many road accidents take place & that is why, in the first case, ambulance is needed to carry people to the hospitals.
• So, you can put it this way that sometimes the Ambulance itself riding on the road is the reason of its existence. So, if the opportunity is not knocking on your door, get on the other side & you knock it yourself. A good market building strategy.
• Talking about hospitals; there are many hospitals in many big cities. But then too, citizens always cry that they are not enough. This is because there are also many ill people in these many much big cities.
• People get ill because of cheesy chuck or virulent viruses or bossy bosses. (Hmmm… Alliteration) Boss when used as adjective means “Exceptionally good”, like in “a boss hand at painting”. But i haven’t seen any boss boss.
• Boss is also used as not-so-meaningful word, where any other word could also easily replace it, like in “Kya boss! Kuch bhi kya?” or “Booosssss! Kya dikhti hai wo!”
• Many people speak many meaningless things many times. Many of these many choose to be much more meaningless by choosing to say many meaningless things many times. (Alliteration again! Hey, this is also alliteration again. So it’s cyclic alliteration.)
• I hate and love such things as i hate to love and love to hate.
• As we are speaking of love and hate, let me tell you that a research from Yale University suggests that love-hate relationships may be the result of poor self-esteem.
• But that’s got nothing to do with our ambulance.
• But, you all have to do with The Princess Anne Hathaway who starred with Meryl Streep in The Devil wears Prada, who, by the way is MFA from Yale University. I mean Meryl, not Anne. & by the way, Anne's dad was a lawyer ;)
• But more than these two, i like Rachel Weisz. & being F.R.I.E.N.D.S fan, i like Matt LeBlanc too.
• Do you now what’s common between these two. No?!?!?!? Let me tell you then. Weisz means white in German and LeBlanc also means white but in French.
• That’s why the Ambulance is White.
• Hence Proved :)

3D Rangoli

It’s an amazing experience to go touring undiscovered directions to meet at the same destination that others come to treading on mapped roads. That’s how i now realized why learned people said that it was the journey that mattered. Or else, being conventional is very conventional. Not playing with word, as i usually do, i would play with colours now…………………

The hands that rocked the world…………………

Some paper work…………………

Let’s get started…………………


Colouring lives…………………

One view…………………

Another view…………………

And now,

THE VIEW…………………

Schindler's list

This is one of the best Oscar winners. Much has been said & written about it already. And that will continue, as it deserves it. Google it & you would get more than you would want. Movie keeps you stunned & amazed & bewildered & hopeful & inspired (& many more emotions) throughout. It takes you on a real wonderful tour. It’s all in itself. Biggest surprise for me was to read director’s name in the credits. I had not known about Spielberg’s potential. His image, for me, has changed now. All the colours, black & white, have been used worthily. This will remain as my most memorable movie.

Evening Law Colleges in Mumbai

I have hunted a lot for this information & when i have finally got enough i would like to post it on net for ease of other people who are also looking for it.

I have found in total three evening colleges for Law in Mumbai.
Their names & contacts are as below:

1)Dr. Ambedkar College of Law,
People’s Education Society’s,
Opp. BEST Bus Depot,
Tilak Road Extension,
Wadala,
Mumbai-400031
Tel: (022) 24182958 (this works)

2)Thane Municipal Council Law College,
Vidya Prasarak Mandal's (VPM)
Chendani Bunder Road,
Thane-400601
Tel: (022) 25364194 (i am not sure)

3)Jitendra Chauhan College of Law (JC College)
Mithibai College Campus,
Vile Parle (W),
Mumbai-400 056
Tel: (022) 26142346 (this works)

ELIGIBILITY: These colleges are for 3 year degree course in law. (They also offer other diploma course which i have no much idea about.) You are eligible to take admissions here if you are GRADUATE from any stream from anywhere in the world. (Any stream means literally any. Arts, Commerce, Science, Engineering, Biochemistry, Fishery, Rocket Science, any, any, anything will do. And anywhere also means India, Pakistan, Switzerland, Mauritius, Australia, Uganda, Vatican, any, any, anywhere will do. Aaa…Yes? From where did you say? Bode’s Galaxy? Sorry i don’t know about that……but maybe……you can still give it a shot!)


YOU MUST HAVE: Attested copies of your Degree Certificate, attested copies of your Mark lists of all years & semesters of Degree, attested copies of your Date of Birth Proof, attested copies of your Present Address, attested copies of your Caste & other Creamy Layer Certificates, your passport sized photos, black ball pen (working perfectly) & lots of lots of time & patience.
For students who have their Graduate Degree form any non-Mumbai University will have to apply to the Mumbai University for their Provisional Eligibility Certificate. But this is done AFTER you have taken admission in your respective colleges. Actually it is done through the college in which you take admission. So don’t worry before.

These all colleges are affiliated with the Mumbai University. They have classes from around 5:30-6pm to 9-9:30pm. For further more information, contact me personally.

Harry Potter and the .........who???

After finishing the Harry Potter books what one has to do is discuss it with friends, scan your brain for weird things you remember and quiz your friends on it and wait & wait & wait for the next film to release. One day the wait finishes, you return home and you again continue your wait for the next movie hoping that at least that one doesn’t disappoint you.

Well, as most of the HP movies did, this also was a great discontent. But before going to the cons, let’s have its plus points first.

:) The new 3D experience which makes you grip your chair tightly (i mean it literally) was the ace card of the game. The WB logo and the title of the movie that float towards you were awesome. And so was the ride through streets of London to collapse the Millennium Bridge.
:) All the actors, new and old, have done a fantastic job. Tim Felton (Draco), who never got such a big role to play before, also proves to be good. Merlin’s beard! How can we forget the beautiful portrayal of the new Potions’ master (played by Jim Broadbent)? For a change, we could also see a different genre of acting from Daniel. It seems, Mr. Radcliffe need not worry for his career after the HP series’ end. Maybe, all he needs is a bit of “luck”.
:) Now i don’t know whether it was intentional or just coincidental, but i did notice this one fact. When the Dark Lord rises to the power and the whole wizard world (and some Muggle world too) is under the growing evil, the theme was maintained throughout the movie. All the scenes were either night scenes or shown as unlit, cloudy or snowy days. Hence the gloomy looks gripped in all places. The usual scenic beauty around the ‘Train to Hogwarts’ was replaced by a stretch of barren land. The comic appearances of Hagrid were also scissored.
:) The other good points were that of different locations shown within Hogwarts. True for Luna to say “I don’t remember having come to this part of the castle”. The director has also added a few small small bits of his own which were also good. For example wee the golden owl on the Headmaster’s address dais and the sand hour-glass in Slughorn’s room.

But… (Yes, now comes this…)

:( The movie lagged far behind the stupendous and precise descriptions of the original writer. Hence, the book-readers were all hope-struck. Why the readers turn toward the screen is to visualize better than what words have already done for them. But if that’s not possible, may be, Mrs. Rowling herself should seat the director’s chair for the finale.
:( The main flaw of the movie was the extra-romance. The first half of the movie seemed to have no motive at all then to fix the love-lives of all (literally all) characters. They also went to the extent of Dumbledore personally asking Harry whether he had something “ON” with Hermione. Maybe David Yates (Director) had made friends with Karan Johar and Yash Chopra.
:( Why i eagerly waited for this movie was because this part had memories of many people collected by the Headmaster in the quest to know Voldemort better. As these memories took you out of Hogwarts in different places and times, it had huge opportunities to shoot miracles and to make the audiences go wow. But at the end, the audiences have known little of it.
:( Another attraction of this movie was to see Snape take over as the Defense-against-the-Dark-Art’s professor, the post he craved for all his life. But alas! This year, Hogwarts was shown only teaching potions. None of the Snape’s or McGonagall’s lectures were shown.
:( The final battle between the death eaters and the DA was not even shown. The death eaters just come & destroy the castle without any fightings with other professors.
:( If you were a first time HP watcher, i bet you didn’t even understand when Avada was cursed and when Dumbledore died. The funeral and the White Phoenix were missing.
:( Other loose ends were lack of dialogues to many characters & even few missing characters. Neville didn’t even have a word this time. All elves, owls, phoenixes, charms, curses, ministry of magic, new Minister, the Prime Minister of London, practices in Hogwarts, exams, festivals & celebrations (other than Christmas) were all missing. It also appeared as if you-know-who had gone in exile with leaving just Lestrange and Greyback to tame the whole world.
:( The plot hugely lagged in portraying the importance of the Half Blood Prince himself. He is mentioned in the beginning and then only at the end when it is revealed who the Prince is. The mystery behind the Half Blood Prince was all killed and hence it did not justify why the movie was named as “Harry Potter & the Half Blood Prince”.

The Lost World

A few days back i happened to read this article in TOI of how a new scientific research has blamed the loss of all dinosaurs & species of Mesozoic era on us i.e. Indians. {Is there any necessity to say the nationality of this report???? Yes, you guessed it right! It is Uncle Sam’s job. You know…this is the foremost problem with the developed countries. They have plentiful of time for such futile studies and examinations. I have never, in my life so far, met or heard of any Indians doing or have done their doctorates in Sleipnir (i.e. some mythological eight-legged horse), or haplology (i.e. course of action of deleting two almost identical syllables in a word. If you ask me, i will be deleting this entire word!), or Ornithopters or some things even remotely similar to these all. But forget it! This can be a whole new blog by itself some day. Let’s get out of these curly brackets now.} It puts forward the theory of how the volcanic eruptions in South-Asian subcontinent, i.e. India, formed an olympian cloud of smoke, ash and all trash blocking the sunlight for a long time to result in alteration of climatic conditions and finally the end of Hollywood’s National Animal.

Before this day it had never occurred to me that these archosaurs had once inhabited India also. I know that my history stands weak with arranging events chronologically. But what i can remember is that there were gods living in India (Why i don’t know! When the whole planet belongs to you, why not stay in Switzerland forever????) And there were some devils also who were always killed by these gods (If not gods, they could go to Switzerland!!!!! There were no VISA interviews in those days!!!) And then there is a huge time skip & my memory lands me in Harappa, Mohenjodaro, Mauriyas, Cholas, Magadhas, Nandas, Guptas, Mughals, Nizams, Peshwas and finally the East-India Company. Now this is a very big lapse of time not accounted. How this period was not registered anywhere, i don’t know. Maybe that’s why all the great leaders in this world have always & has at least given us one “thought” emphasizing importance of time, punctuality and such things. And it is due to these guys only that we have to give account of our 40 hrs spent every week in office (@#$%&*@*%#%#&#@!).

But imagine if this chain had all its beads in place and if this whole thing had a perfect continuity, India would have been so different with just the knowledge that we inherit the land once owned by dinosaurs!!!!

India being the largest producer of cinema, the impact on film business cannot be deserted. We Indians pour in heaps to movies featuring dinosaurs, anacondas, giant gorillas and such (once-up-on-a-time) living things. In fact, my first English movie is Jurassic Park itself. We Indians can’t keep ourselves far from such fantasies. And hence, i am quite sure that, we wouldn’t have needed to turn to Steven Spielberg for them. We would have had many such movies from Satyajit Ray. (I don’t know the authenticity of this but i have read somewhere that the famous ET was a plagiary of one of the Satyajit Ray’s ideas.) Salim-Jawed would have written larger than life scripts (this phrase aptly suits dinosaur movies) on how the carnivorous dinos would kill herbivorous dinos & then the kids of herbivorous dinos would take the “hamari maa ki maut ka badlaa”. Karan Johar would have made dino romantic fables. Dinosaurs hopping around hillocks (they won’t fit behind the garden bushes), shouting (equivalent with talking), shouting (equivalent with singing), shouting (equivalent with laughing) and again shouting (now equivalent with crying). (Gawd! It is going to be a tough job for vocal artists to give so many expressions by just shouting). There would be wedding-videos type movies on them. Action packed “Khiladi” type is never to be forgotten too. To cut this whole thing short, let’s just say, the landscape of the Indian Cinema would have been very different.

Another great change would have been in our childhoods. We would not have had all those toys of just horses, dogs or elephants. I am sure our parents would have got us some long necked simple and mild looking herbivorous dino toys. For soft toys lovers there would also be teddy-dinos. Our childhood stories wouldn’t just have ended with donkeys and monkeys. May be, we would be giving a break to ant and elephant and would be cracking jokes on Epidexipteryx (the smallest dino) and Spinosaurus (the largest dino). Our Panchatantra stories would also need editing to change the king of jungle. Jungle Book would have had a small cute ummm…dinolet (what do we call a baby dino???) as Mowgli’s friend. Our museums would have been containing beautiful fossils of long tails and sharp teeth of these animals. And now, i would call these fossils as the real fossils worth any museum. (I detest those earthen one-armed-lady statues & bullock carts. Oh come on! Anyone can in their own backyard make them, bake them and start their own small museum.) Our education systems would have been somewhat different. Instead of mugging the dates of Chauri Chaura Movement twice in school life, one year they would have taught us about these creatures. Who knows, i would have been a paleontologist now. Digging earth somewhere for more and more bones! Oh wow! That would have been so much better....

Going many steps ahead, i would also say that, may be this small alteration would have made a vast cultural change montaging the whole of the Indian image. The whole persona of Indians would have been poles apart. We would have been bolder, antagonist, valiant, fearless and hence may be much more developed. Coming back to the topic of development, may be it would have been like this that we Indians would have put forward this new “scientific research” blaming them and then some American guy would have scratched his head and would have come up with this blog...... :)

Attention! ! !

This to bring to your notice that the blog down with all 'ages' is not my ingenuity. So you all can stop praising me about writing that. It was just a forwarded mail that i had received & thought of sharing with you all. Although, you can still praise me for taking a good pick. But hey, rest all are my own. See ya with another good one soon.



N.B. Million thanks to all readers & their comments.

My First Love

You are in a great rush. You somehow climb in and grasp your last lost breath. You start looking around. There are people. Lots of people and in different lots. First is the lot of those who are lost in Peace. Those may be the thoughts of happiness or sadness, homes or offices, girlfriends or boyfriends, and lots many things. They care for nothing that’s going around. Second is the lot of those who are lost in Prints. Those may be newspapers, sudokus, crosswords, novels, study books (rare!) or even sewing machine & PAN card advertisements pasted around. They care for nothing that’s going around. Third is the lot of those who are lost in Pixels. Those may be of mobiles, I-pods, laptops, palmtops or Blackberry (Some people, because of its multifunctional nature, don’t consider it as a member of mobile family. So sad for the mobile clan to lose it’s most commendable member!!!). & ditto is for them also. (Never forget, there are also people begging, selling & dozing. But they are few.) And i am proud member of the third lot. I wouldn’t have called myself proud but for this new Nokia advertisement which shows how restlessness is an asset and the most important distinguishing factor of ours. Somehow, our mobiles define us.
Killing time is not as it was before. It’s now in many people’s to-do list. Its part of our 24 hours schedule & which else mode could be better than a mobile which that we have every time? Now, mobile is our part and not an accessory. SMSs & calls were, once upon a time, vital means of communication. But now we use them to kill time. Mobiles were rich affair then. But now, just like sky, mobiles are everywhere. A friend of mine tells me how his roomie has three cell phones. First one for his girlfriend to call on (Need I say that this is always engaged?????), second one for his parents to call on as their home landline has some friends’n’family plan activated for cheaper call rates (This is rarely used cause of first phone.) and third one for office work (This you have to strictly avoid on weekends & all other holidays.)
Accepting, even i am addicted to my cell phone. I just love my cell phone. I can’t live without it. Wait a minute…... if this continues, i might even stop calling it "it" and name it something just like Joe & Chan call their chair & TV by names Rosita & Steveie. Looking back in past, i know now, that it would have been horror if i didn’t have that straight black animal, taking only 90 deg turns & surviving on small pixels. That greenish yellow flickering screen was an antidote. It made me survive my PLs & my engineering books. Even now when i am stuck in between lines, i turn back to the Applications Menu of my cell. Only difference these days is that the Snake with enormous gigantic appetite has been replaced by a Sailor who is on a mission to save his fleet of ships from wrecking against the rocks. (For non-geeks, this game is made on same basis as Minesweeper & is called Seasweeper. And if you even don’t know what Minesweeper is, BBYE! Pack your bags and get back to your era. RED ALERT! Hurry! Byzantines have attacked your kingdom!!!) But the peace and leisure it brings is still the same.
Rewinding to a few years back, when something called a ringtone was heard, we looked here & there to see what that sound came from and how an owner of mobile phone looks. (No! I didn’t think that sound came from a spaceship. We aren’t going that back and that West.) But now when you hear a ringtone, you give a damn to it unless it’s something funky that you don’t have yourself. Actually, my fantasies for them have taken a low level. With my first mobile, i was crazy about these ringtones. I used to write down all 8b1 8.e2 16g2 8#f2 4e2…… so that i could keep updating to newer and cooler tones every time i wanted. I also remember sending Birthday Song ringtones, instead of SMSs, to my many friends. (If anyone wants them all, i still have them. Contact animesh.kulkarni@akersolutions.com). Sometimes even seven tones weren’t enough for my greed. But now when you can have tones of songs init, you care least of what actually rings when it rings. My roomie was another of the mobile-lover species. He had his collection of best SMSs. You name the occasion and he would set out options for you. I am sure; his craze is also now dead.
Time passed. Monotonous black-n-green displays changed to wifi enabled blue-toothed PDAs. The World spinned so many times and so did my feelings. My feelings turned from passion to love to affection & then to mere liking. But if it makes you feel any better, i need to confess it to TVS Scooty that not her, but you, Nokia, are my first love…..